If you have an eye for bondage, you’ve probably noticed that some isn’t just functional, it’s also elaborate, stunning and beautiful. In many cases, the most visually stunning artistic bondage is Shibari – an ancient Japanese form that has been working its way into popular culture over the last few years.
This is in part because it’s becoming more widely seen as an art form, and also because kink and BDSM have moved more firmly into the public eye. With so many ways to tie, and nearly as many ways to learn, Shibari offers something to anyone curious to explore new realms of erotic potential.
1. What is Shibari?
Modern Shibari has its origins in Hojōjutsu, a martial art that involves tying a person, usually a prisoner, with rope. Kind of like an early form of handcuffs, but far more personal and elaborate. There were different styles of tying, each used to honour the status of the person being captured. Practiced for centuries, it took a turn toward the erotic in the late 19th, early 20th century.
The way the term is commonly used is to describe a form of rope bondage with Japanese origins that emphasises form and aesthetics as well as function.
2. And Kinbaku?
When you get into debates about language and terms, it often comes down to splitting hairs. In addition to Japanese rope bondage, Western rope bondage, and Shibari, you’ll also hear the term Kinbaku. Due in part to problems with translation, you may hear these terms used interchangeably.
3. It’s always changing
Through Shibari conventions and classes with local instructors, different styles and trends emerge – ties can be all the rage for a season, and pop up across social media spaces (there are 201,000 posts on Instagram alone). In other words, Shibari is very much a living art form that continues to grow and evolve as new people take it up and make it their own. It’s a beautiful thing.
4. It’s a form of personal expression
The fact that bondage and the ties used can be so personal is one of the reasons it’s so popular. And it isn’t just about putting your own artistic spin on how it looks. It’s just as important to consider the reasons why you’re tying as the actual ties you plan to do. There’s a big difference between tying someone to the bed for sex and tying someone for the sensuality of the experience. Both can be fun, but these distinctions need to be negotiated with your tying partner.
5. Bondage can work for all bodies
Another benefit of the flexibility of rope bondage is that it can work for a variety of bodies and abilities. “Everyone’s body is different,” sexuality educator Lee Harrington explains. “Don’t play with a mythical body or what you saw online – play with the person in front of you! Maybe they don’t know how to tie a knot, or your lover can’t hold a position you saw in a book or video. This is a great chance to explore, have fun, and create something unique rather than hurting someone’s body or feelings.”
6. It literally and figuratively binds couples
The use of rope for exploration and fun is one of the reasons intimacy educator and bondage instructor Stella Harris uses rope to help couples connect. “Rope has a unique way of transmitting energy and intention and because it gives you a reason to be up close and personal, along with providing a roadmap of where to touch someone’s body, it’s a fantastic way to ease into the sensual and erotic with another person,” she says.
7. And it’s a way to communicate too
“At this point in my journey with Shibari, I enjoy the extremely deep and emotional connection that is cultivated by communicating with rope between me and my partner,” Minx says. “I practice Shibari as my own form of meditation and focused attention while tying as well as using the rope to expose vulnerability and trust between me and my partner.”
8. It can strengthen your connection to your partner
Shibari practitioner and instructor Noble Manqué echoes the emphasis on intimacy and connection in his own eloquent way. “For me Shibari is not about the rope,” Noble says. “When I tie I don’t want to be concentrating on the knots. As the rope flows over the person I’m tying I want to be sensing how they respond to how I use the rope on them as I bind them. The rope is just a tool for connection. It is just a conduit for intent, and desire, and responses to flow back and forth between the two people. The art, for me, is not creating rope patterns or specific ties, but creating emotions and responses, ephemeral moments that hopefully resonate deeply with the other person.”
9. Before trying it, know the risks
There are many reasons to explore the practice of Shibari. If you’re interested in giving it a try, nothing takes the place of learning in person with a qualified instructor. Bondage comes with risk, so it’s important to learn how to do it safely. “Make sure you learn about the risks first – most of it is common sense, but some of the dangers are counter-intuitive – so it’s important to learn the basics and safety so that you can then just enjoy playing around with your partner,” Noble says.
10. You can always start with books
If you aren’t in a big city where classes are taught, books like “Essence of Shibari: Kinbaku and Japanese Rope Bondage” by Shin Nawakiri or “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé” are great tools to begin your exploration.