I have to admit that before I received these questions via my contact form, I was contented.
Our First Date
Our first date was at an Italian restaurant on the 7th floor of Mariott. I don’t remember if Nic paid or I paid but since most of our first dates were in Kuala Lumpur, I won’t be surprised if I paid as I wouldn’t have expected Nic to have so much Ringgits. But then again, I won’t be surprised if Nic had insisted on paying since he was making his first impression. Either way, it didn’t seem very important otherwise I would have remembered exactly who paid.
Nic used to ride the six-hour midnight bus from Singapore to KL on Fridays and then ride the six-hour midnight bus from KL to Singapore on Sundays just to take me on a date. If that wasn’t stressful enough, add to it the fact that he’s the type who suffers from motion sickness.
With going through all that, I definitely didn’t need him to spoil me with dinners or gifts to impress that he’s sacrificial.
Progress in the Relationship
It was only about two years later when I’ve quit my full-time job to work as a full-time freelance writer that most of our dates shifted to Singapore. In Singapore, Nic will always offer to pay, I didn’t have problems accepting it. By then, it almost felt like our money = our money even though our accounts are still separate.
What Male Readers Think
From the comments I received on my post on who should pay for dinner, it looks like some guys don’t mind spoiling his girl.
Alien TYC wrote,
I been paying most of the more expensive meals with my ex-gf and
I do it because I love her and this is one of the little ways I show that there is nothing more important then love between us.
Some guys do mind, but will insist on paying for the first few dates just to make a good impression.
Mark wrote,
First few dates prior to getting steady, the guy should pay. But if after a long while going steady, the girl should offer.
Some guys fear if they do so, they will be taken for granted,
Kenny wrote,
It depends really, but it won’t hurt to at least offer yeah?
And the girls?
Daphne thinks guys should be gentlemen and pay for dinner but then if a guy really does spoil her with dinner, she’ll feel terribly embarrassed. She wrote,
i tink that guys shd pay. but that said, i often chip in or offer to pay for my own meal.
Well Daphne, what are you waiting for? Looks like Alien TYC is single! 
As for what I think? Exactly as I’ve written in the post title.
15 Comments
haha. wonderful conclusion. it really sums up the whole dating situation.
the pic of u n nic is soooo sweet! hehe.
that was nic *ahemwithoutthetummyahem*.
HAHA. there’s a discussion on the Ping.sg forum (the jap food gathering one) abt girls’ legs and guys’ tummies haha. u both qualify haha!
Daphne Maia’s last blog post..Why be Calculative at Work?
ahem… cuse me. That time got tummy liao hor… just can’t see from this pic. hehe
Nic’s last blog post..America - Towards a future of no discrimination?
Not only did Nic pay on first date, also managed get to touchy and huggy too..
Maybe it pays for guys to pay on first date..
aaronkoh’s last blog post..webtv
BTW Aaron that wasn’t our first date lah.. maybe our first ‘nice dinner’ thingie.. lol
Nic’s last blog post..America - Towards a future of no discrimination?
Very nice picture of you both!
As for who pays when, and why, I am not going into the debate, but it’s considered gentlemanly to pay for the dinner if the gentleman is the one who asked the lady out.
Right, as one progresses in their relationship, I guess it’s up to the couple to decide — go Dutch, or the man pays sometimes and the woman on other occasions.
Sometimes us guys like to be surprised too, like having your girlfriend or wife ask you out for a meal that’s her treat.
I think it’s a nice gesture especially if the wife/gf is earning her own keep.
Isaiah’s last blog post..So, What Do You Do Now?
Thanks Isaiah. I think you’re right, I should spoil Nic more often.
I totally agree with you on the point that after a while, there’s no more “your money” and “my money”.
And I like that kinda feeling! It makes me feel that we’re like a married couple ;P
Of coz, on special occasions like Vday and anniversaries, the guy should take the initiative to pay and us girls would do our part by giving handmade pressies. So I think its all fair.
Pazzion, sounds like you’re in a sweet place in your relationship. Wish you have a blog so I can read more about it.
One thing to remember, don’t ever take love for granted.
Aiyoooooo Nic soooo cute! Looked a little like Tong Leung Chiu Wai!
Miss Loi’s last blog post..Miss Loi’s Temple is Under Water!
eh Tony Leung? Where?
Nic’s last blog post..America - Towards a future of no discrimination?
Miss Loi, not exactly Tony Leung but just as desirable.
Er, why are you shivering?
Um, must the guy still pay if he’s jobless?
*evil grin*
FoxTwo, what’s he doing asking a girl out when he should be job hunting?
eh… it wasn’t Marriott. It was Prego @ the Westin and we ordered the Chef’s special.
Nic’s last blog post..America - Towards a future of no discrimination?
Oops. Scuse my bad memory. Pai seh.