I have a friend who works as a data analyst who absolutely loves her job. She can’t wait to wake up and get to work every morning, even on Monday mornings. She doesn’t need a cup of coffee to start the day. This is a true story.

At work, she spreads out pages and pages of data on her table and scrutinizes them to look for patterns. You can say that she is a bit of an eccentric genius. If she were to work for WMF, she would probably dig into the database of people who have registered for warranties on WMF knives and discover that 70% of those who buy these knives are between the ages of 30 – 40, have an annual household income of between RM120,000 – EM240,000 and registered the warranty after the Annual Stocktake Sale. Intelesting. When she sees these patterns, she gets very excited. She may even get tenacious in acquiring more data to analyze.

As there are people like that – people who love data, information, knowledge, and patterns, there are also bloggers who are like that; bloggers who regularly publish, “10 Inspiring Corporate Website Designs,” type of posts. They would scour the internet for information, collate, search for patterns, and publish. These are the Analysts type of bloggers.

Next, my friend whom we pretend works for WMF will present these patterns to the Marketing team who will pass them on to the Advertising Agency which they expect to work their magic. At the Agency, if it is a good one, there will be a Brand Strategist who will be among the first to receive the data. All Brand Strategists should be rewarded with facial hair to tug and twirl as they pour brain juice into thinking out smart strategies based on these patterns but most strategists I have met are clean-faced Chinese men. So sad, they end up twirling (and breaking) pens.

One might think that a Brand Strategist is a lazy bum who takes all the Analyst’s hard work and spends 10 seconds writing down random thoughts based on them but I can tell you that good Brand Strategists work extremely hard. The electricity pulses that run through their brains can probably power up Sarawak if plugged into a grid. After staring at the patterns for the longest time and thinking, thinking, thinking, the Brand Strategist might write, “People who are interested in buying WMF knives are attracted to advertisements that are intelligent with a wry sense of humor. Having to look at something twice because it just made them think twice makes them smile. They may buy the knives even if they don’t cook simply because they are inspired by the intelligence the ad presents.”

Now, how does he know that? He just does: he is the Brand Strategist. He spends 20 hours a day figuring this out; the other 4 hours, he spends on convincing the creative team and the client that he’s right; and since the Agency pays him more than RM300,000 a year, you’ve got to believe and trust him, he’s on the ball.

As there are people who work as Brand Strategists, there are bloggers who enjoy publishing posts that expose strategies. You will see them regularly churning out “10 Thoughtful Ways to Impress Your Potential Mother-in-Law” or “What Google Should Do to Defeat Evil Microsoft” type of posts.

Are you a Strategist type of blogger? You should be, it’s fun. Although you’ll probably have very short life span from all that thinking.

After the Brand Strategist have done his work, he will pass the comprehensive strategy paper to the client and a short brief one to the Creative Team. A good Creative Team will take a look at the Creative Brief and either tear it up in anger (because it is incomprehensible/generic/boring) or get excited. A good Creative Brief can really bring on the creativity. The Creative Team will think of a way to get the advertising message across in an intelligent, wry sense of humor way as specified on the brief.

After everyone have done their magic, you will have this: a picture of a logo and a chicken with lines.

by Art Director: Eugene Yap and Copywriter: Michell Peter

As there are people who work as “Creatives”, there are bloggers who enjoy publishing posts that are awesomely creative. They make videos, photos, podcasts and regular posts that are extremely engaging.

Now, let’s talk about the bottom of the pile. Bleah, I hate talking about negative stuff. Sometimes, in an Agency, you will find emo-types who rant and rail against the injustices of their work hours (which are quite true), the impossible  deadlines (also true), the uninspiring creative briefs (funnily enough, often true) and the stupidity of clients (let’s not elaborate on that, shall we).

Admittedly, an Agency is usually a pretty stressful environment to work in but what makes these people bottom of the pile is the inability to rise above the circumstances and be productive.

Well, just as there’s this type of Agency staff, there’s this type of bloggers that leave a stale taste in your mouth.

So, are you an Analyst, Strategist or Creative? C’os you’re a genius, I know it. *wink*

Related posts:

1. A Blogger’s Nightmare Singers like to sing about how much they wish their...

Imagine if Cali Lewis had won the Australian Reef Job contest (woohoo!) and couldn’t bring her husband along (oh no!). It took me another 3 days to get my voicebox in order and tell the boyf that I had applied and they had approved. I timed it to be mentioned at the end of a long phone conversation when he had to run off to another meeting. He didn’t respond and I thought that he didn’t catch my words.

Later that night…

Woohoo!!! I can’t believe the boyf is so kind not to lay on a mountain of guilt. I would have perfectly understood if he had made me feel like pond scum. If it was him who was going for six months, and to New Zealand, and without me, Oh ho ho ho ho!

So, the Winter Ski Season begins in June. I’m thinking of going in mid-July.
One thing I know for sure – when I’m there, I will definitely miss Malaysia’s endless summer.

Now, onto the trip preparations! Yeahh!

This is the way life on earth have become because of ourselves. Before we ate the forbidden apple, animals didn’t have to die to be our clothes, food or anything else. Women didn’t have to endure pain in childbirth. Men’s work was joyous and pleasurable rather than disgustingly hard.

Thank God that with faith, we can look forward to a perfect life in heaven once our lives on earth which is between heaven and hell ends.

Today is Good Friday which is the most hellish day of the year. If you have seen The Passion of Christ, you will recall how gory, brutal and bloody was the death of your Savior and King, Jesus Christ, on this day. He was smashed, whacked, mocked at and pinned to a tall cross to die.

All because this is part of God’s plan for your life.

Image from http://allposters.com

I didn’t know what to make of the scene. Was it being walked when its owner needed a toilet break? Should I let it go? What if lightning strike the pole?

My heart was troubled. I continued cycling and came back to check on it later. Thankfully, the dog was gone.

But the next evening, the dog was tied to the electric pole again! This time, I waited quietly and spied the guy who lives diagonally across my house come release it and take it home. Immediately, I understood what’s happening; – this guy is toilet-training his dog to poop in front of my house instead of at his own! I know because this is the same neighbor who has a few other dogs which regularly run here to leave me piles of yellow mush.

Dot dot dot.

Let’s just say my neighbor’s philosophy of dog-rearing and neighborliness is vastly different from mine.

For this particular school, the sale is held on the 2nd floor, praise the Lord.

After carrying my first box up the flight of stairs, I looked down to see 43 more awaiting in the lorry. *cold sweat*

I saw a few unsuspecting victims helpful students. The good thing about students, they are taught to help their teachers carry books and old ladies to cross the road. We played the Frail Old Lady card.

Tada!

What will I do without men? :)

The next day, we were expecting 360 new students to throng our little stall with their moms and dads in tow. Here we are, bracing ourselves for the floodgates to open at 9:30am, right after the School Assembly is dispersed.

The bookshop is quickly preparing as well. They are strategically positioned in the canteen.

At 9:30am, the crowd appeared all at once. The school helped to persuade half to queue for their books first while the other half queue for their uniforms. That way, the queue only looked half as long. Even then, parents started to feel irate at the sight of the snaking line so we had to move very fast.

It was like playing Diner Dash. Measure, Take Order, Process Payment, Deliver Clothes. Measure, Take Order, Process Payment, Deliver Clothes. Measure, Take Order, Process Payment, Deliver Clothes… Whew.

By 11am, the line had completely cleared. 260 students have bought their uniforms. The rest will be buying from our shop on other days.

At 3pm, we did a stock take and packed up. Be back here tomorrow.

I decided to blog anonymously so I could publish whatever I want without a care in the world. Only the boyfriend was to know about the blog’s existence. I named the blog Precious-Living and nicknamed myself Precious to hint to the busy guy that I am worth some attention. The hint worked. *wink*

But one day months later, the boyfriend said, “I’ve got tickets for the Singapore Slingers. Would you know of any bloggers who would like to have them too?”

*Gulp* *Uh oh*.

That’s when my wings were clipped and I lost my freedom forever. That’s when I hosted a coming out party through a simple blog contest to properly introduce myself to the bloggers and blog readers; and to invite everyone for a basketball game together. :)

(To be continued)

I thought she was crazy. “I will never,” I declared.

“You write well,” she MSNed. “You will make good money online.”

Three months later, I registered http://clonic.wordpress.com. It made me feel like one of the cool kids because *gasp* I own a blog! Hahaha! [cue thunder and lightning]

At that time, the purpose of setting up a blog was to supplement my income but I benefited from it in more ways than one. Most significantly, I made friends with a lot of people who were constantly online. I felt such a strong sense of camaraderie with them because we were all writing paid posts.

Months later, one of my new friends alerted that WordPress.com will delete all blogs that are used commercially. By that time, my blog was a treasure trove of memories so it meant a lot to me. Every time I was loading it to blog, I would feel a clammy hand clutching my throat.

“Don’t tell me, oh please don’t tell me they’ve deleted my blog!”

I was living in so much fear that one night, I could not bear it any longer. I pushed my mouse until the arrow hovered over the “Delete Blog” button. I clicked. I confirmed with WordPress.com that “Yes, I am sure I want to delete this blog.”

The blog was killed in a matter of seconds. I felt so relieved that tears rolled down my eyes. Those were the ugly days…

(To be continued)

Edit: Part II is here.

Some of the people who came were dressed funny.

Isn’t that cool? Next year, I’m going to dress funny too. I’ll be coming as Hua Mulan and you can come as my pet dragon or pet cricket.

I’m friendly. :D

I saw a weepy girl leaning against her umbrella-wielding friend for support.

I can understand why. Her friend looks like Mary Poppins except that she got electrocuted by lightning while floating down from the sky.

Then there was this couple. The guy looks so angry, like the whole world is against him. The girl looks like she’s just swallowed a bitter gourd.

Now, now where is the love?

I saw two girls who haven’t discovered the joy of loving a man. Sure, our men are not perfect, and they hurt our feelings. But men have still got something that we girls will never have:- masculinity.

I think men are fabulous. XD

Toys on display

There were pretty dolls!

Creative sculptures!

Cute little warriors. :)

Miniature toy foods (it’s d-i-y with the dough and gelatinous things that they provide).

And… an upskirt doll just because she is high up on the glass shelf and above my head.

So! Anime Festival Asia ’09 will be around this time next year. You going?

Related posts:

1. How Weird to Celebrate Winter Solstice Festival Today, the Chinese all around the world celebrates the Winter...

When I was in college, I went crazy for heels. I had rows and rows of Vincci heels. They were only RM45.00 each but the quality is so shoddy that I kept having my heart broken when they broke.

When I was in university, I had a culture shock when I saw that many Australian girls don’t wear heels. Even when they are dressed for work in smart suits and pencil skirts, they wear sneakers! To be fair, they keep a pair of kitten heels in the office which they slip into once they arrive, but when they are out and about in the city for breakfast, or travelling to and from work in trains and in trams, they pair their gorgeous outfits with sneakers. Isn’t that a huge fashion faux pas?!!!

But I learned to appreciate the laidback Melbourne culture and soon, I too was treating my feet to comfortable shoes. I bought from Nike and Nine West but not a lot. On weekends, I would scour their warehouses for good deals.

Over the years, I have learned a few things about buying shoes. Mistakes I have made:-

Sliding slings

I bought a pair of slingbacks from MNG for a wedding dinner, but when I got out of the car, discovered that the sling kept sliding down my heel! I had to hobble into the ballroom while trying to look natural. And after the dinner, I couldn’t dance on the dance floor. Thankfully, my dinner companions were wonderful. We took a lot of photos. :)

 I have tried to fix them by sticking foam strips onto the strap, it didn’t work. I have tried to latch it on so tightly that it couldn’t possibly slide but it cut into my skin. Ouch!

Later, a friend gave me another pair of slingbacks as a gift and I had the same problem. If you are buying a pair of slingbacks, thoroughly test them out in the shop first.

Dirtifying foam

Never ever buy shoes or sandals that uses light-colored foam insoles. I bought a pair of adorable foam slippers. After the first wear, the shape of my feet were imprinted as a grey-brown stain on the foam. It looks so revolting, I couldn’t bear to let my feet touch that stain again. it was only ever worn once, sigh…

Peeping at the wrong place

If you are going to be waltzing about in your office, this pair of super low peep-toes will look great as long as you have painted your toenails.

But not if you are going to be walking down the grimey streets of Kuala Lumpur.

Notice how the front of the shoes are so low that your exposed toes are almost touching the ground? Street dirt gets on them and even into the underside of your toenails.

I found that out when I got home and kicked off the shoes. I found a crescent-shaped stain on my toes! Horrifying! It took a night of vigorous scrubbing with my nailbrush to clean off the dirt but the crescent mark is also partly by the sun’s tan. It took only a few hours for the sun to tan a crescent-shape onto my toes but almost a month for my skin color to match again, lol!

Triangulizing the toes

I know there are a lots of girls who can wear pointed-toes without grimacing all the time. I have seen you and I can only gawk. Are your toes triangular and not round(ish) like mine?

With the heel at the back, that means almost your entire body weight will be squeezing into the narrow front. For me, that will be carrying 45kg on the very tiny tip of all toes!

I have “only” ever bought two pairs of pointed toes. The first pair is tall like the one pictured here. It completely numbed my brain. My entire face was red from wearing them and when some one complimented my glowing complexion, grrr!

The second pair I bought is about an inch high. It still hurts but less. I can carry out a decent conversation while in them as long as I can snap my teeth and grit at every end of sentence. I wore them till they wore themselves out. :D

Skin out, flesh exposed

One shoe-shopping mistake I have made countless times is buying a pair where the upper is not made of a soft material. It could be made of plastic, synthetic leather or even genuine leather that haven’t been processed enough to be supple. The hard material cuts through the skin and exposes pink flesh. Then, as you walk, the shoe rubs itself against the raw wound. Then, a fly sticks itself onto the open wound.

Joking about the fly part, heheh.

So there you go, a few shoe-shopping mistakes I have made.

I am definitely a lot more cautious now when it comes to buying heels. I basically live on one pair – my well-padded Hush Puppies heels. I’ve also become a fan of short and sweet kitten heels. The spunkier ones, I put on for special occasions and to places where I know I will be with a gentleman whose arm I can lean on in case there is a need to hobble.

A few weeks ago, I put on a pair of five-inchers. After walking for a bit, I was doing all I can to keep smiling. By the time I got home and could kick the shoes off, I had six blisters all over feet!

The shoes are pretty though so I tried again. After the cuts had healed, I stuck on eight plasters and put them on. Gorgeous.

Off I went to have fun. And you know what? Even with 8 plasters, I still came home with 4 excruciatingly painful blisters.

Never again! I am never wearing shoes again.